10 Tips for Having Difficult Conversations

Need to have a difficult conversation? Here are some steps that will help you with difficult conversations, especially when it comes to giving people professional feedback.

1. Address the matter as soon as possible

• Take initiative and don’t wait around for the person to approach you. Doing so will resolve the issue more quickly, and more important, it will make a good impression on your coworkers.
• Make sure you check in with your HR department before the conversation to ensure that you’re following all of the right steps. You may, for example, need to have a colleague present for the conversation.
• Having regular check-ins with employees is an effective way to address matters on a weekly basis. Take notes in between sessions so that you remember what you wanted to address.

2. Location

• Keep in mind the location of this conversation.  You don’t want others to hear this conversation — it should be in a private place for the privacy of the employee.
• Sit on the same side of a desk rather and you behind it. This sends a message that you are both on the same side and is less confrontational.

3. Use a soft entry

• Share with the person that you have some uncomfortable information to discuss. Give them a moment to brace for some potentially embarrassing feedback or suggestions.

4. Simple is better

• Be simple and straightforward when talking. Don’t beat around the bush. You’re talking to this person because there is an issue that you need to address for the success of the organization.

5. Avoid negative statements. They send the wrong message!

• Negative comments are less likely to be understood then positive ones. Try to state concerns positively if possible.

6. Reach an agreement with the employee.

• Reach agreement about what the individual will do to change their behavior. Set a due date – tomorrow, in some cases. Set a time frame to review progress in others.
• Tension is resolved if the two of you collaborate and join forces.

7. Do not amplify the feedback.

• Once you’re in the position of giving the feedback, possibly due to other coworkers complaints, DO NOT state that other workers have complained as well. This increases the embarrassment for the person receiving the feedback.

8. Give encouragement!

• When the discussion is over, thank the coworker for their time and explain that you only want the best for them. Also express that you have high expectations and hope that he or she will meet them.
• If he or she does improve, show your recognition. Giving kudos is a great way to show your appreciation.

9. Document the outcome

• Document the conversation you had and any agreements or goals set.  This may well be a legal requirement from your HR department and provides a record for the future which could be important in further measures.
• Tracking notes and actions is an effective way of reporting information and future goals.

10. Follow up!

• Backsliding can occur if a problem already exists. Keep in contact with the employee to assure for long term success. Further clarification may be necessary as well.
• Have weekly coaching and mentoring sessions to continually improve your work environment.

Communication is necessary in a professional workplace. Use Rypple to make it easier to have continuous communication and anonymous feedback. Try it today, it’s free to get started!