What stops us from providing feedback?
What stops us from providing feedback? Clearly, identifying a performance issue isn’t the roadblock. Ask any group of co-workers or manager what the problem is and they usually can name it without hesitation:
- “You, mean Mr. Know-It-All? If he would ask for help instead of pretending he knows how to do everything maybe he wouldn’t make so many mistakes.”
- “She makes mountains out of mole hills.”.
- “He’s so negative that he takes the J out of Joy.”
- “Everything is a problem and she complains without offering any solutions.”
- “Oh, he will promise you anything, just don’t hold your breath waiting.”
So, why do we all steer clear of challenging performance conversations?
Why People Avoid Giving Difficult Feedback
A model that explains when feedback should occur in this performance management screencast.
Over the years we have heard many reasons for why people avoid or delay providing feedback. Here are some of the more common reasons:
- I don’t know what to say.
- I’m worried about the employee’s reaction.
- This person has been here a long time and who am I to bring up the performance issue?
- What about legal ramifications?
- It will demotivate the employee.
- I hate conflict.
- Maybe the problem will fix itself.
- I don’t think the employee is capable of changing.
- I don’t know what the solution to this performance issue is.
Even the most seasoned managers can come up with a million excuses for avoiding or delaying performance feedback. Chances are the issue is either in the employee’s blind spot; meaning they know nothing about how they are being experienced by others. Or the issue is out in the open, meaning everyone including the employee, knows about the problem but no one has said anything about it; at least not yet. The key is to provide early on just in time feedback before a persistent pattern takes hold.
There is evidence to suggest that people want to know about their blind spots, but there is also a tendency to delay performance feedback conversations.
